That was a lot. Life is a lot. I’m at the beginning of a master’s degree, fighting demons, and at different points, continuing to explore the world. I have to remind myself that I’m still way early in my twenties, even as I spend a great deal reflecting about the past year and years prior. I have to remind myself that it’s okay not have everything figured out. In fact, figuring things out is quite recursive.

One foot in, and one foot out the door into the real world. Despite experiencing a bar late-night in LA for the first time, 21 is, dare I say, sobering.

Thirteen was puberty. Thirteen was so uncomfortable, and so I shied away from the unknown. Eighteen was becoming legal, and that was so exciting. As unknown as my future was at that point, there wasn’t a care in the world. I was out of the house, and embraced the unknown I was around. And now, I’m twenty. With both the feelings of discomfort and excitement fighting out in my mind. I gave myself more time to process these feelings, and I actually needed more time because the quarter system continues to quarter.

We’ve made it beyond the end of our sophomore year at UCI. What’s ahead? Our roaring twenties! More goodbyes. And a little more time to ponder about the future.

After watching PACN 43 last year in the stands, I was in awe, and even more appreciative of my Pilipino identity. I definitely saw myself being a part of the next one. Fast forward a year later, and the same feeling resonated from behind the stage.